Texts From Jane Eyre by Mallory Ortberg

• Title:  Texts From Jane Eyre and Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters
• Author:  Mallory Ortberg
• Genre:  Humor
• Published:  November 2014 – Henry Holt
• Source:  Publisher

Synopsis:  Hilariously imagined text conversations—the passive aggressive, the clever, and the strange—from classic and modern literary figures, from Edgar Allan Poe to Katniss Everdeen.

Mallory Ortberg, the co-creator of the cult-favorite website The Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters. Everyone knows that if Scarlett O’Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she’d constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she’d text you to pick her up after she totaled her car. Based on the popular web-feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mashup that brings the characters from your favorite books into the twenty-first century.  (publisher)

My brief take:  Holiday gift alert! This could be the perfect choice for the literature buff on your holiday gift list. The text messages run from the classics to modern literature to The Babysitters Club.

One text conversation that made me giggle was from two characters from The Outsiders trying to figure out how to pronounce “soc”. Some texts went right over my head because I hadn’t read the original book. Rest assured, there’s a little something for every reader in Texts From Jane Eyre.

This is one of those books that can be read a little at a time – in fact, I’d recommend it. Put it in your guest room for a little unexpected entertainment for your guests. I guarantee it will start some fun conversations.

How About Never – Is Never Good For You? By Bob Mankoff

• Title:  How About Never – Is Never Good For You? My Life in Cartoons
• Author:  Bob Mankoff
• Genre:  Memoir
• Published:  March 2014 – Henry Holt and Co.
• Dimensions:  10.3 x 8.3 x 1.2 inches
• Source:  Publisher

My take:  If you read The New Yorker then you’re familiar with the cartoons in each issue. They are subtle reflections of daily life that are mostly relatable to the majority of readers (I would guess). I’m a fan.

Bob Mankoff is the “longtime cartoon editor” of The New Yorker. How About Never is his story of turning a love of drawing into becoming a contributor to the magazine and finally its cartoon editor. Sprinkled with anecdotes and more than 250 cartoons, How About Never is an enjoyable memoir that also includes tips on how to get your cartoon accepted for the magazine and how to win the cartoon caption contest – neither are easy to do.

Mankoff has a playful, self-deprecating style that had me chuckling as I turned the pages. If you enjoy cartoons (especially those in The New Yorker) and amusing stories about the cartoon biz you’ll want to read this memoir.

Recommended. It’s on my gift list this year. My thanks to the publisher for sending a review copy.

 

Treadmill Reads: The Hitwoman Gets Lucky by JB Lynn

Synopsis (publisher):

Maggie Lee’s a lot of things:

The daughter of a mom in a mental institution and a dad serving time;
The niece of three meddling aunts;
The aunt (and now legal guardian) of her beloved niece, Katie;
The friend of a snarky lizard, a dyslexic Doberman, and a semi-psychic co-worker;
A contract killer.

But one thing she’d never thought she’d be is a thief.

That’s about to change as she heads to the casinos of Atlantic City to
help her sexy murder mentor, Patrick Mulligan, steal something from a professional thief.

Maggie’s never been lucky in love or money. Will this gamble pay off or will she lose her shirt, her heart or even her life?

My take:  The Hitwoman Gets Lucky is a fun novella to tide fans of the Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman series over until the next novel in the series is published (soon, I hope).

Maggie trusts her mentor, Patrick Mulligan, so she doesn’t think twice when he asks her to help him with a job in Atlantic City. It just so happens that she has tickets to a Barry Manilow concert and was planning to go anyway. So she and her good friend Armani (who is unaware of Mulligan’s job) head off to AC with Maggie’s lizard along for the ride because he really didn’t want to stay home alone. It’s always a fun time for the reader when Godzilla (or god as he likes to be called) makes an appearance. He finds himself making quite an unexpected appearance during the job. That’s all I’ll say about that or the rest of the plot 🙂 You’ll have to read to find out. It’s a quick, fun read that made my time on the treadmill go by in a flash.

This novella is #2.5 in the series. Although it can be a stand alone I recommend you start with the first book (Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman) because you don’t want to miss learning how Maggie became a hitwoman.

• Title:  The Hitwoman Gets Lucky – Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman series, #2.5
• Author:  JB Lynn
• Genre:  Romantic Suspense; Humor
• Published:  March 2013 – Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
• Source:  I bought it

Treadmill Reads: The Housewife Assassin’s Handbook by Josie Brown

Synopsis (Goodreads):  Every desperate housewife would love an alias. Donna Stone has one, and it’s government sanctioned. Oh sure, you need to be ruthless to take on Russian mafia bosses, rogue dictators, and terrorists set on destroying the world. But it takes real killer instincts to survive suburbia. Try juggling the fifth grade phone tree during a shootout with skinhead arms dealers, or driving carpool while being chased by Chinese double agents.

Donna’s life wasn’t always this complicated. Five years earlier she was just another woman with two preschoolers, a baby bump, and an adoring husband, Carl, with whom she lived happily ever after in a McMansion in the Orange County, California community of Hilldale. But Donna’s life was changed forever the night she delivered her baby: 

Carl’s car blew up on the way to the hospital.

Turns out Carl was a “hard man” – an assassin – for the black ops organization known as Acme Corporation. The hit on Alex was carried out by the Quorum, a terrorist cell he was tracking. The Quorum’s motto: “Show me the money.” Governments and corporations do as they’re told-or suffer bloody consequences.

Carl left something behind that the Quorum wants badly. To protect herself and avenge Carl’s death, Donna joined Acme. Whereas her hostessing skills rival Martha Stewart’s, her marksmanship is second to none.

A good thing, too, because the Quorum has planted a sleeper cell in Hilldale. For Donna, that’s too close for comfort. Will she be able to save her family before the Quorum blows up Los Angeles?

Acme’s way of flushing out the Quorum is by “bringing Carl back from the dead.” But terrorism makes strange bedfellows. Jack Craig, the wild card Acme operative paired with Donna brings, new meaning to that old adage “Honey, I’m home…”

My take:  So this was fun! Think Desperate Housewives meets a more savvy Stephanie Plum* – but Donna is a reluctant spy/hitwoman for Acme, a Black Ops organization. She wants to avenge her husband’s death so she takes every assignment given to her and is quite successful. Her most challenging assignment walks into her life in the form of her husband – now being played by Jack Craig, a cocky and incredibly handsome Acme operative. Can Donna make her kids and neighbors believe Carl is really  himself and home to stay? Will she hang on to her sanity and see the assignment through? You’ll just have to read to find out!

Brown had me laughing out loud as I walked my 45 minutes on the treadmill each morning. She gets huge kudos because I actually looked forward to exercise. Really! I loved that the main character has the same name as Donna Reed’s perfect housewife character in The Donna Reed show – a tv sitcom from the 50s and 60s. 

The Housewife Assassin’s Handbook is entertaining, over the top and maybe even predictable – and I liked it that way! Any book that makes me want to exercise is a winner. I can’t wait to see what predicament sassy Donna and sexy Jack find themselves in next.

* I gave up on Stephanie after book 8 because nothing ever changed and didn’t look like it would. I’m cautiously optimistic about Donna.

• Title:  The Housewife Assassin’s Handbook (Housewife Assassin #1)
• Author:  Josie Brown
• Genre:  Romantic Suspense; Humor
• Published:  May 2011 – Signal Press
• Source:  I bought it.

So Damn Lucky by Deborah Coonts

Title:  So Damn Lucky

#3 Lucky O’Toole Vegas Adventure Series

Author: Deborah Coonts

Genre:  Mystery; Humor; Light Romance

Published:  February 2012 – Forge

My take:  When a magician’s act seems to go tragically wrong Lucky O’Toole, head of customer relations/chief problem solver at the Babylon Resort, feels she must find out what happened since it happened at her hotel. Another disappearance in Lucky’s life is that of her boyfriend Teddie. He’s off to Europe to follow his dream of being a music star. That’s left a void in Lucky’s life but she soon has suitors vying for her attention. Add to the mix the fact that it’s Halloween week in Vegas – let the games begin!

I love it when the third book in a series is even better than the first two. So Damn Lucky is a fun adventure that goes from Las Vegas to Area 51. Oh yeah, there’s also a meet-up of UFO aficionados at The Babylon. They add a lot of color to the plot – and then some!

Fortunately, for Lucky, she has the loyal support of coworkers and friends in solving the mystery and getting through the hectic week. So Damn Lucky is a fast paced and entertaining novel that makes me want to book a flight to Las Vegas (I’ve never been) and visit many of the sites mentioned in the series. Is there really a drive-through wedding chapel?!

So Damn Lucky can be read without reading the first two books in the series but I highly recommend starting with the first: Wanna Get Lucky? Deborah Coonts left me wondering what could possibly come next for Lucky  – at work and in love. I can’t wait to find out!

Source:  FSB Associates

Disclosure:  see sidebar.

You Don’t Sweat Much For A Fat Girl by Celia Rivenbark

Title:  You Don’t Sweat Much For A Fat Girl

Author:  Celia Rivenbark

Genre:  Humor/Essays

Published:  August 2011 – St. Martin’s Griffin

My take:  If you like snarky and humorous essays with a southern perspective you’ll want to read this collection. It made me laugh – a lot.

From the one about Where will all those Chinese boys find wives when they’re ready to marry? to What if the Cash Cab joins the expected fleet of space taxis taking fares to some planet? – I enjoyed the giggle-fest.

Each essay starts with a kernel of wisdom and explodes into wacky hilarity. Having raised two daughters I loved the final essay: Teen Angel. It’s about raising teens in the texting/facebook era. Funny (and scary and true) stuff.

Source:  Publisher via Goodreads First Reads